Seven Ways to Make Change Easier

Seven Ways to Make Change Easier
by Marta Kagan
Business Coach, Life Coach & Motivational Speaker


*Question: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?"
Answer: "Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change." *

There's a reason why the phrase, "People don't change," is so popular. Change is hard. Change requires us to take risks, to step outside of our comfort zones, and to be fully conscious of our choices and actions.

But let's be very clear about one thing. People can change. And while it's true that most people don't, the fact is that one's behavior, attitude, and perspectives are infinitely malleable. The possibility for change is always present.

In my work as a life coach, I help people make changes in their lives all the time. I can personally attest to the fact that people CAN change; and that people DO change. What I'll share with you now are the seven most common obstacles to change - and a few tips for overcoming them. May they help you in achieving profound, positive and lasting changes in your own life!

*People don't change because they "should"... but they don't really want to. *

Do any of these "should's" sound familiar?:

"I should lose 20 pounds."
"I should quit smoking."
"I should finally write that book."

The problem is that what you should do often bears little resemblance to what you want to do. And you really have to want something in order to sustain the effort and commitment that true change demands. Next time you catch yourself saying, "I really should..." ask yourself why? If you can't come up with at least three compelling, personal reasons ("Because my boyfriend wants me to" is NOT a compelling, personal reason to anyone but your boyfriend), I suggest you consider putting your efforts toward a more rewarding pursuit.

Let me repeat: change is hard! The more you want it, the easier it will be. Change that is driven by something you are DYING to achieve or overcome provides far more motivation than change that is fueled by a desire to please, appease, or impress someone.

Tip #1: Skip the "should's" and focus on the changes that really matter. This is YOUR life. The only thing you "should" do is live it on purpose!

*People don't change because the results aren't immediate.*

Humans are very 'instant gratification-oriented' creatures. We don't naturally think long-term. Ask the average person where they'd like to be five years from now and you're likely to get a resounding, "I have no clue."

The point is, the more immediate the benefits of making a change, the more likely you are to succeed in making it. That's why a person can drop 10 pounds in a week for their high school reunion but can't fathom losing 50 pounds in a year - despite the significantly greater benefits of the latter.

Tip #2: Even if the change you wish to make is a "long-term investment", define at least one immediate benefit of getting started. Once you've realized the first "immediate" benefit, define the next one. Repeat this process until the overall change is complete.

*People don't change because they don't know where to begin.*

Changing behavior can feel like climbing a mountain - completely overwhelming, treacherous, and exhausting. It's easy to get stuck endlessly plotting your course - but never quite getting started.

The very best way to begin climbing a mountain is this: one small step at a time.

Tip #3: Instead of trying to "tackle the mountain," focus on just taking the first step. Define one 'bite-size' thing you can do immediately to start moving in the direction of your ultimate goal.

*People don't change because they're afraid - of failure, rejection, or simply "the unknown." *

Change is not only hard - it's scary! What if you fail? What if your friends/family don't like the "new and improved" version of you? What if...?

Humans - like most animals - have an unconscious tendency toward homeostasis - the urge to continue doing what they've always done. This "homeostatic impulse" can be so irresistible that people will actually recreate an unpleasant - but familiar - situation for themselves, simply because that familiarity is comforting.

Have you ever know someone who lost a job they absolutely hated and then went out looking for the very same job someplace else? Or someone who repeatedly leaves one unhealthy or abusive relationship for another one? That's our homeostatic impulse in action.

The point is, our fear of the unknown exerts a powerful influence over us. Powerful enough to keep us in homeostasis indefinitely.

Tip #4: When we're afraid, we feel powerless. Take back your power by taking action. Next time you're stuck in homeostasis, ask yourself this question: Do I really want to go through life feeling afraid and missing out on so much of the joy that life has to offer? Act accordingly!

*People don't change because they don't have support. *

There are plenty of skeptics, critics, and saboteurs out there - and they certainly don't make the process of change any easier. Plus, there's that nagging chatterbox in your head that's always willing to deliver some fuel for the self-doubt fire.

Tip #5: Get support! Identify the people in your life who are likely to encourage and support you and share your plans/goals with them. Ask them to be your 'support team' - someone who can talk you off a ledge when the going gets really tough.

*People don't change because their expectations are out of line with their efforts. *

Let me put this simply: you can't plant oats and expect to get barley. You will - whether you believe me or not - ultimately reap whatever it is that you sow.

I had a client a few weeks ago who said to me, "I've been trying so hard to get over this relationship and move on with my life, but I just can't seem to get anywhere!" When I asked her what steps she was taking to "move on" , she couldn't come up with any! "I'm staying busy, you know, working a lot." - Which is exactly what she was up to before the break up. Nothing about her life, her attitude, or behavior had changed. What's more, she was still spending up to an hour a day on the phone with her ex-! Talk about expectations out of line with efforts.

Tip #6: Get real and get honest (with yourself, that is). If you're trying but not seeing the results that you'd hoped for, take a good long look at the efforts you're making and realign them with the expectations you've set.

*People don't change because they forget that change is a process, not merely a result. *

There are four distinct stages in the process of change:

Stage 1: Discovery. "Oh, that's what's happening."
Stage 2: Static awareness. "It's happening again - but I don't know what to do about it."
Stage 3: Empowered awareness. "It's about to happen again... and I'm going to try a new approach in an effort to change the outcome."
Stage 4: Reflection. "I remember when that used to happen!"

While it's the result you're ultimately working toward, there is progress worth acknowledging along the way as well! It's not an "all or nothing" endeavor. Every step you take toward a goal is change.

Tip #7: Give yourself credit. Acknowledge your progress. And be patient! It's taken you years to develop the habits, behaviors, and attitudes that you have now. It just might take a few weeks or months to change them!

(Note: Research shows that it takes an average of 21 days for your brain to form a new neural pathway - a new "cow path" that allows messages to move rapidly from brain to muscle and back again. Which means, it takes an average of 21 days for a human to "learn" a new skill. In my experience as a life coach, behavior change takes even longer - between 90 and 180 days on average. Changes in attitude or perspective, however, can happen much more rapidly.)

Charles Darwin once said, "The species that survive are usually not the smartest or the strongest, but the ones most responsive to change." Change is vital to our survival. It is a skill worth mastering; a challenge worth confronting. Homeostasis will always be there, ready and willing to welcome you back - so don't be afraid to take a little trip beyond her reach.

Change has an amazing, empowering effect on all of us, a thought well captured in the following quote: "Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly."

Exactly.

© 2004 Marta Kagan


Tag Change Easier Marta Kagan

Observing Successful People

I thought about my subscribers on Saturday night and realized that you can learn a lot from observation. Simple, right? Let me explain.

A good friend of mine bought, virtually on a whim, a new, nearly $3,000,000 home. I didn't even know he had purchased it. They were "keeping it a secret." Then he invited me over to play pool, billiards if you will, which we do quite regularly. But, of course he had to give me the new address.

It was stunning: 16 acres. 7500 square feet. Beautiful custom woodwork. Tens of thousands of square feet of outbuildings, including horse barns (though he is going to raise Yaks – don't ask me why) and what is to become the new indoor basketball court. An indoor pool rounded out the best of the offerings. And, of course there was the billiards room. As we were going through the house I kept thinking, this would fit into most people's dreams…including many of my subscribers.

And that got me to thinking. I really needed to step back a bit and look at my friend again. I mean, I know him too well. We play basketball together. We play pool together (He beats me at pool, I beat him at basketball). We have shared some of the very highest points of life and some of the lowest. We have laughed together and we have fought with each other.

But what is it that makes him tick and be able to become so successful financially? I had never thought about that before. As I did, I realized that you can learn a lot from observing successful people… if you do it.

A little about my friend: 40 years old. Runs 1/5th of one of America's most well-known companies (you may even use them today). Married. 6 children.

But here is what I realize when I look at what makes him so successful:

Intense. One thing my friend is, is intense. Whatever it is that he is working on or doing, he puts every ounce of energy into it. It is all or nothing. This keeps him going when it gets hard.

Focused. Similar to intense, or perhaps going with it, is that my friend is extremely focused. When he sets his mind to something, he gets his eyes on it like a laser beam. This helps him achieve it.

Strategic. He "begins with the end in mind." He tells me frequently that the day you start a company is the day you plan on selling it. Whether you agree with that or not, it does indicate that he is thinking well down the road, which is a lesson we could all learn. This helps him keep his mind on the big picture.

Hard working. My friend puts in long hours. In today's get-rich-quick-without-much-work mentality it is easy to forget that most fortunes are made by plain old long hours. And most people just aren't willing to do it. If I want to get a hold of my friend between 6 am and 6 pm, I call the office, because that's where he'll be. Just as a side note, he knows how to relax too: He just got back from a three week bicycling trip through Europe with his whole family, ending with a seven day cruise through the Mediterranean.

Competitive. When my friend gets in the game, he wants to win. He doesn't play to lose or tie. He goes all out, within the rules as well as the spirit of the rules, and he doesn't let up until the game is over. If he wins or if he loses, he is gracious. Well, okay, most of the time he's gracious. Sometimes he rubs it in a little bit when he beats me!

Risk-taker. One of my favorite stories about my friend is how he went to his boss at his company and told them they should begin to develop a certain product because they would need it in a year or two. The boss told him it wasn't in the cards. So my friend quit his job and went and started a company that produced that product. Guess who bought the company from him shortly thereafter for many, many dollars? Yep, his old company, where he now runs a huge part of the company.

Fun. When it comes right down to it, my friend is a lot of fun. He is never boring – that's for sure. He and his family have 25 bikes and use them regularly and competitively. He loves sports and plays them well. He laughs, even when he loses. That helps him keep perspective and enjoy life.

My friend isn't perfect. No, I have seen not only his best, but also his worst. He is, like the rest of us, making his way through life the best he can as a person who is not perfect. But he does have quite a few things down pat that you and I could learn from, lessons that would make us more successful in life and work.

So let me ask you:

Are you intense? Are you focused? Are you strategic? Are you hard working? Are you competitive? Are you risk taking? Are you fun?

These are the characteristics of successful people; people who achieve great things in this life and make a difference for their families and others as well.

Chris Widener


Tag Observing Successful
People
Chris+Widener

The key to success...

The Key to success is for you to make a habit throughout your life of
doing the things you fear.

Brian Tracy

If you don't....

If you don't climb the mountain, you can't see the view.

Getting Over Today's Success

In my office, I have a sign that says, "Yesterday ended last night." It's a great sign because it helps me keep our company's success in perspective. When I want to celebrate because the previous day was a good day, I look at the sign and say, "Okay John, that was yesterday. The party's over. Go home, go to bed and get ready for another day."

Life is not a snapshot. It would be wonderful if, at the pinnacle of your success, you could take a picture of it and assume nothing will ever change. But it will change, and if you don't change with it, what got you there yesterday won't keep you there in the future. Yesterday ended last night, remember? And--even more importantly-- today's success won't sustain you tomorrow.

This can be tough to digest because when your business or job is going really well, the tendency is to sit back and say, "This is it. We've found the recipe for success--this is how it's going to be from here on out." Unfortunately, that kind of attitude doesn't lead to growth; it only fosters stagnation.

As tempting as it is to rest on your laurels, you have to keep reinventing yourself and you have to keep reinventing your organization. Ninety percent of INJOY's profit margin today comes from work we were not doing six years ago. And when we look at our game plan for the next five years and the growth that we're planning to have in our company, nothing in the next five years is determined on what we're doing right now.

Let me put it this way: If what you did five years ago still satisfies you, you're not doing anything worthwhile today. I look at material I produced five years ago and I want to apologize for it. You see, a sign of growth in your life is when what you did yesterday no longer thrills you; not because you're bored, but because you're growing.

In light of that, here are five ways to make sure today's success doesn't impede future accomplishment in your life.

Keep growing personally.

Growth equals change. When you grow, you change. Notice that I did not say change equals growth. You can change without growing, but you cannot grow without changing.

Continually ask, "Is there a better way?"

When someone asks this question, the answer is always yes. There's always a better way, a more efficient method, a more effective approach. You're in deep trouble if you think you have the best way because there's no such thing. There's always a better way; and your search to be a little bit better or a little bit different will keep you in a continual growth spurt.

Pay for outside consulting.

I learned a long time ago that if you really want to grow, you need to have a fresh set of eyes examining your business from time to time. So hire an outside consultant who knows your business well to check out your organization and see what you're too close to see.

Don't protect the past.

We all have a tendency to protect our past--the decisions we've made and the people we've hired. It's easy to look at an employee who's not performing well and think, "I really believe they're about to get on track," when in reality, they haven't improved in seven years. The real effort comes when you have to say, "I made a bad decision in hiring them, and it's time for them to go."

Build on your success--don't sit on it.

When your company applauds you, take a tape recorder and record it. Every now and then when you're alone, turn it on and say, There was a time..." Then turn the tape off and start growing. Start improving. Start disciplining yourself to get better. And keep people around you who are not impressed with you. The worst thing that happens with leaders is that they surround themselves with fans instead of building productive teams. You don't need people to admire you. You need people to say, "I don't think that was a good idea; we should have done this." Those are the kind of people who will push you to grow. They won't just let you sit there basking in the warmth of today's success."

Once you've gotten into the habit of doing these five things go ahead and celebrate the success you had today. Feel good about it. Enjoy it. But when tomorrow comes, get over it. Let it go. Don't let today's achievements stand in the way of future growth.

Dr. John C. Maxwell


Tag Success John Maxwell

Coffee Bean

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see? "Carrots, eggs,and coffee," she replied. She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity -- BOILING WATER -- but each reacted differently.The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water. "Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg,or a coffee bean? "Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?
I hope you enjoyed this and it made you think. It sure has me. I want to be the coffee bean.


Tag CARROT EGG COFFEE BEAN Life

Inspirational Christmas Story

It's just a small white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas-oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it-overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma-the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike.

The inspiration came in an unusual way. Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church, mostly black.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford.

Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them."

Mike loved kids-all kids-and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church.

On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years.

For each Christmas, I followed the tradition-one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents. As the children grew, the toys gave way to morepractical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure.

The story doesn't end there. You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing around the tree with wide-eyed anticipation watching as their fathers take down the envelope. Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit, will always be with us.

May we all remember the Christmas spirit this year and always.

Contributor: Jacque Nelles


Tag Christmas Inspirational Story Jacque Nelles

Time Never Goes Back

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area. Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,

Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?
Teacher : (Silent for few second, than he answer) Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.
Student : (Thinking hard) Huh???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later...

Student : I'm back.
Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up. But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.

What is the message of this story?
* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back". It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don't waste time!


Tag Time Never Goes Back

Even Chickens Struggle

It takes about 21 days for a chick to develop inside a fertile egg; the egg must be kept warm by either the hen (mum) or in an incubator.

Before the chick can hatch from the security of its' shell, it must first face a huge struggle. Using an "egg-tooth" on its beak, the chick slowly begins to peck a hole in the shell. This arduous process takes many difficult hours, requiring the little chick to stop often... and rest.

Struggling and turning within the shell, the chick eventually pecks a crack all way around. The struggle intensifies as it then begins to push with its body and feet to make the crack bigger. Exhausted, yet determined, the chick finally breaks apart the shell and begins yet another struggle... to pull itself out. Soon, the tired, wet chick flops down for a well deserved rest.

Some two hours later, with feathers now dry, an active, fluffy baby chick is ready to face a new beginning (it will be about another 6 months before the chick is fully grown).

Even chickens struggle... and it is this very struggle that builds the strength required for the chick to survive its' future. If we were to help that chick break out of its' shell (say with a teaspoon)... the chick would die within no time of getting out.

The struggles we face daily have the power to either make us or break us... it's all in our attitude. Are the obstacles we face in life (a) stepping stones... helping us grow to the next level; or (b) tombstones... burying us in despair?

Remember... it isn't what happens to us in life that determines who we become; it's what we do with what happens!


Tag Chickens Struggle

Oh No! You are LATE again!

Can you imagine the embarrassment of arriving at an appointment late? You realize that nobody cares about your excuses even though you have a good one. You promise yourself not to be late again next time, but guess what? It happens again and again. Have you noticed that usually it is the same people who are late? Just look at your friends and you should be able to pick out some of the regular "late arriver's".

Being late can be dangerous because you have the tendency to speed. Many accidents occur because people drive recklessly to arrive at an appointment on time in order to avoid the embarrassment of being late. I strongly believe what separates people who are always late and those who are not are habits. If you can develop habits that allow you to be on time every time, you will actually find it hard to be late for your appointments again.

Here are the habits that most of the "on-time arriver's" share:

1.) They don't allow any distractions when they are preparing for the appointment.
They won't turn on the TV when they have 10 minutes to dress. They don't start making a phone call nor do they turn on the computer to check their email. Since they hate to be late, they do not allow any distractions before the appointment.

2.) They don't wait for their gas to be empty to fill the tank.
They get their tank filled when they have time to do so. They seldom go to the gas station just two minutes before their appointment.

3.) They write their schedule down and make sure they have enough time to travel from one location to the other.
These people plan their schedules carefully and they understand that some appointments may take longer than expected. That's why they do not typically schedule two appointments back to back.

4.) They may even arrive early.
Instead of risking the chance of being late, these people like to anticipate problems that may occur (eg. busy traffic) and may decide to arrive early. They take something with them to work on to occupy their waiting time.

5.) They are very organized.
One of the main reasons why people arrive late is that they have to look for something at the last minute. People who arrive on time are usually the people who are very organized and seldom lose things

6.) They call in early if there is a cancellation of the appointment:
People who are always late are usually also the people who fail to show up and not make a cancellation phone call. In contrast, people who are always on time may sometimes cancel their appointments, but they usually cancel it very early to minimize the inconvenience. They also attach to their cancellation a sincere apology.

7.) They set their clock and watch 5 to 10 minutes ahead.
This really works! You will find yourself waking up 5 to 10 minutes earlier than you would have otherwise. You will brush your teeth earlier, so you will eat your breakfast earlier, and so on. The end result is that you will be ahead of your schedule all the time.

8.) They write down the exact date and time of their appointments.
They don't allow the worst thing to happen to them; that is, to forget about an appointment and not show up.

9) They keep their mobile phone turned on.

They realize that there may be location changes or appointment cancellations requested by the other party.

10.) They confirm the time and location before the appointment.

They realize that sometimes miscommunication does exist and confirming the appointment is probably the best way to reduce the risk.

11.) They would rather go to the appointment by themselves instead of going with a partner who is chronically late.

People who are always on time simply avoid car-pooling with a partner who doesn't have the habit of being on time. If they have no choice, they will warn their partner about the importance of the appointment and ask him/her not to be late.

There you have it-- the habits of people who never arrive late for an appointment. Don't just read this, but also implement it into your daily life and personally experience the results.

Can you afford to live without managing your time efficiently?

Stanley Cheng


Tag Late efficiently life Stanley+Cheng

Focus

Focus the glue that holds a goal in place… an insurance policy on your journey to success. If you've got a great goal or idea but not focus, you really don't have much!

What exactly is focus?

Focus is simply a goal, a picture in your mind's eye of something you want. Your focus is usually spelled in CAPITAL LETTERS!

A successful focus is based on the concept of singularity.

Your goal must create in your mind both the perception and reality of importance. The most important aspect of focus is single-mindedness.

Because everything you do moves you closer to or further from your goal, focus cannot be considered in isolation. If everything you think, say, and do moves you toward your goal, then everything requires focus!

Focus creates a powerful force.

The moment you focus on a goal, your goal becomes a magnet, pulling you and your resources toward it. The more focused your energies, the more power you generate.

Focus is like plugging into a power source all its own. If there are two elements that should be joined at the hip, no better pair exists than decision and focus. They feed off each other.

Decision makes focus possible, and focus makes decision easier. Success offers living proof that decision and focus make for a lovely couple.

The moment you energize a goal with focus it will be as if the train you're riding instantly switches to a new set of tracks going in exactly the right direction at high rate of speed.

We're all vulnerable—it is easy to lose focus. Accept the fact that you must repeatedly recover your focus. A brief loss of focus is a minor derailment, but, if not regained rapidly, loss of focus becomes a wholesale wreck.

Focus, readjust, and realign. Every opportunity competes for time and focus. Resist temptation. You can't do everything, but you can do one thing and stay with it until completion.

Once you begin to focus, it's like telling the world, "Watch out… here I come!" Focus signals the coming out of your goal.

Guard your focus jealously. Determine not to be distracted. Without focus, you lose your way… enthusiasm disappears… goals become faded aspirations. Energize your focus everyday through constant care, feeding, and attention.

You will receive no sympathy in the marketplace for loss of focus. The feeding frenzy will begin the moment you allow your focus to wane. You put a bounty on your head every time you lose focus.

Focus is a priority, a necessity, and an absolute; it practically guarantees a front-row seat to prosperity.

The power of focus lies in its ability to inspire purposeful action, so this week Focus, Focus, Focus!

You are because you dream. Dare to Dream!

Stewart Cruse
http://www.stewartcruse.com


Tag Focus Stewart Cruse

Dream

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!"she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop.

I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success.

You have to laugh and find humor every day.

You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.

Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.

At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it He will bring you through it.


Tag Dream

Must decide now and can't make a mistake

Some folks believe there are no bad decisions.Af If you turn left instead of right, you think you've made a mistake -- till you realize this detour is actually a shortcut to the destination of your dreams.

But if you're standing at a fork in the road, here are some guidelines that others have found helpful.

1. Know who you are and what you want -- today. You spent a life as the quintessential urban resident and now seek the countryside. You enjoyed twenty years of law or medicine or sales, and now you find yourself writing poetry and making time to help a third-grader learn to read. Yesterday's decision rules won't work any longer.

2. Be willing to walk away if you're not ready to sign on the dotted line. You always have choices. If you're supposed to have that house or that job, it will be there tomorrow.

3.Share your plans with friends, family and colleagues. Pay attention to how you feel when you share. Pay less attention to their reactions.

4 Uncertainty is a sign that you need more information. Talk to people who have been there. Book knowledge and internet knowledge will be outdated by the time you read it.

5. If you turn right, what is the worst that could happen -- a year from now? Five years down the road? How does that compare to the worst case scenario of turning left?


6. Some people sleep soundly when they don't know where they will get the next mortgage payment. Others toss and turn when their checking account falls below ten thousand dollars. When you live in your own comfort zone, you attract more opportunity.


7, Decisiveness may be valued by your corporate or social culture. In a transition, fast decisions can actually slow you down. Most people have more energy for starting up than starting over.

8. Intuition is your source of power. Keep your batteries charged. Meditate, write in a journal, spend solitary time outdoors. If you feel uncertain or intimidated, go away until you feel stronger.

9. Don't dive right in. Dip a toe into the water. Warm? Start wading. Do you find yourself waving good-by to the people left behind? Are your toes curling happily into the wet sand? Or are you finding sharp rocks, icy water and harsh tides? Do you feel ready to take off and swim to the other side of the world? You can still turn back, but do you want to?

10. Once you've committed to the decision, keep looking ahead. One of my happiest friends says, "I don't agonize over a decision. I assume whatever I chose is right for me and go full speed ahead."

At the same time, remember that few decisions turn into a life sentence. You can always review your new life, get out the maps, and chart a new course for your future.

Cathy Goodwin


Tag decide mistake Cathy Goodwin life

Taking life with humor

Sometimes humor is the only way to deal with life's ups and downs. When we forget that, life often reminds us of that fact. I wrote this column in my motivational newsletter and I want to share it here.

Heyokah

The trickster or Joker shows up in many cultures. He has many names. In Native American spirituality, he is represented by the Coyote, and also by Heyokah. He represents humor and irony. His message is: "Don't take life too seriously!"

Heyokah shows up in your life, when you begin to take yourself, your situation and your life too seriously. You may be overly concerned with your dignity, your status or the respect that people are or are not giving you. You may be a perfectionist, or are showing a perfectionist attitude at the moment. You may be gritting your teeth and fighting your way to the top of the corporate ladder. You may be convinced or your own importance. Then, suddenly, something happens that makes you look and feel like a total fool. You arrive at an important board meeting with a pair of your wife's panties static clinging to the back of your coat. You make your grand entrance into a room full of admiring men, and your heel gets caught on the carpet and you fall on your butt. Your perfectly. You want to sink into the ground and you think you can never face these people again. And Heyokah is standing on the sidelines, laughing...

Heyokah's message is very clear: "Get off your high horse, human!" Let's face it, life is unpredictable. No matter how carefully we plan, sometimes things just happen. And often, they happen for a reason. They force us to take a fresh look at our attitudes and to question our self-importance. Heyokah teaches us to learn from our mistakes through humor. Why did this happen? Was I getting too pompous? Do I appear arrogant in my desire to preserve my own dignity? Did my perfectionism prevent me from appreciating the small wonders of everyday life? Was my desire to impress other people creating stress in my life?

Embarrassment is a wonderful attention-getter. Nothing wakes us up faster than our own red face. Nothing seems as earth-shaking as other peoples' laughter, when we are the joke.

At the moment, it is easy to make a short-circuit decision. Sometime people do that, because they don't think past that one embarrassing moment. Some peoples' lives have drastically been changed because of such a short circuit decision. Some lives have ended.

Heyokah doesn't want to cause you permanent damage. He just wants to laugh and to get you laughing. He wants to you find a fresh, and somewhat humbled approach to life and its many pitfalls. Take some time out. Re-live the moment that caused you so much embarrassment in private and try to find the humor in it. Then look for the message behind the event. Heyokah shows up when we are our of sync with our nature. He teaches us to be more balanced. He comes when we are too linear in our development and challenges us to become more varied in our interests. And he is here to put the brakes on our ego, when it tries to convince us that we are superhuman.

As painful as Heyokah's message may be at the time, it is one of the most healing incidents in our lives. As we recover and lick our wounds, we have time to reflect on the reason behind the trickster's appearance.

If Heyokah is in your life, you'll know it. Take time to listen and learn to laugh at yourself. It could become your most endearing quality!

Tyger


Tag Taking life with humor life humor Tyger

Decisions

For some of us, making a decision is the hardest thing in the world. I know my husband hates to do it and usually wants me to pick the movie, the restaurant, the shirt he should wear. If faced with making his own decision, he goes into "tilt" function (those of you old enough to have played pin-ball know what that means). His dilemma, I believe stems from two sources.

Firstly, the overload of input, which requires organization and orderly thinking, and secondly, the fear of making the wrong choice.

What if we spend our money on a movie and then it is not a very good one? What if the other one would have been better? What if he orders tacos and, as soon as he takes the first bite, he realizes, that he's really in the mood for a quesadilla? Perhaps that is why it takes him 10 minutes to decide what to order at the Taco Bell drive-through. Perhaps that is why cafeteria style dining always stresses him out.

All joking aside, deciding is a slow process. Often people try to rush you to make you accommodate their schedule. You should take your time though. Generally, if you feel uncomfortable making a choice, wait.

If time really is not a factor, disregard it. Take the time to listen inside of you to find out what it is that you really want, need or need to do. It is ok to ask other people for their input, but remember the decision is yours to make. You cannot base decisions on other's opinions, but you should consider what they tell you and weigh the facts.

Be aware of the motives behind others' advice. Sometimes they will have their own interests at heart, not yours. Once you have considered the facts and your feelings about them, try to find the solution that you think will make you the happiest or that will solve the problem or fit the situation the best. Understand your reason for your decision. Be aware of the consequences, the benefits and the losses or sacrifices involved in making this decision. (Remember, if you order tacos, you won't have enough money for the quesadilla).

And here comes the important point. Once you have decided, it is time to follow through. DO NOT LOOK BACK. Do not second-guess yourself. Once you have decided on the tacos, put all your effort into enjoying those tacos. Don't waiste another thought on the quesadilla. If you do, you will always feel ambivalent about your decision. If you still crave a quesadilla after dinner, make a mental note to order it next time you go out.

This step is extremely important in making decisions. You have taken your time and you have thought about it deeply. You have decided, weighing all the facts you had at your disposal. Now it is time to feel good about the decision you made. You earned it!

Many people are afraid to make a decision to quit a destructive habit, such as smoking, gambling, doing drugs, obsessing about a relationship, etc. This is a different kind of deciding. You already have the facts. You know it is destructive. There is no need to think about it. So why do you still wait? Again, I believe there are two reasons.

Firstly, we fear the finality of the decision and its consequences. (What if I have withdrawals? What if on the next draw, I could have hit the big jackpot? What if he changes and treats me better again?) Be honest and realistic with yourself. What are the odds?!

Secondly, we again have trouble with that last step in decision making:
The choice to wholly embrace the decision we have made and to be happy with it.

Here's a little help with that one. Formulate your decision in a positive way. Instead of "I am going to quit smoking" say: "From this day on, I am a non-smoker, and I'm proud of it." Decision is made. Steps are taken, and you can even be happy with it.

Making good, solid decisions build self-esteem. It shows you how competent you are. It lets you know that you can trust yourself. So, what if your decision turns out to be not so good? Well, then you think about it some more and you make another decision. Say, you went to see "Ya-ya-Sisterhood" and the movie stank (to you). No matter what you say to yourself, you really didn't like the flick. Then make the decision to go see a better movie soon.

Reward yourself for trying. You still did the work, even if you didn't like the results.Sometimes our decisions have negative impact on our lives or the lives of people we care about. Sometimes, it seems that there is nothing we can do to fix the damage. We can examine our decision-making process and see if we need to improve on it.

If we have truly done all we can and things still turn out wrong, then we may have to decide to live with it, to embrace our mistakes and forgive ourselves for being fallible human beings:

We have to decide to let go.

Tyger


Tag Decisions Tyger

WHAT IS MY LIFE'S PURPOSE?

There is an Intelligence, far greater than the mind that belongs to the Heart. This Intelligence holds the answers to life's most pressing questions.

It's Within Every one of Us

This Infinite Intelligence is within you, right now. This Intelligence guides you in the direction of your dreams, your purpose and deepest meaning in your life. All you need to do is open yourself to this Intelligence by way of your Heart.

I wish to share a powerful true story with you from the wonderful writings of Alan Cohen:

"Monarch Butterflies, the large black, orange and yellow beings of nature, live and frolic in the warm weather. When the cold begins to set in these butterflies migrate where they join all other Monarch Butterflies in a journey to a particular marsh in the southwest.

The interesting fact about these butterflies is that they never make it to their destination in the southwest. Only their offspring do. You see, the parent butterflies die off shortly after giving birth and it is their offspring that make it to the haven in the southwest.

Somehow, without ever having made the journey before, the young butterflies make it to the exact destination their ancestors were headed for. All of these butterflies are guided to meet at a place they have never been before.

Guided to journey down a path they have never yet traveled. Yet they all make it!"

Yes, there is a magnificent wisdom that guides the entire Universe, everyone and everything is a part of this force. Just as the Monarch Butterfly is guided, so too are you.

Each one of us has a personal path...
We each have a journey - a personal purpose we are here to follow. This fulfillment of our personal purpose allows us to feel deep joy, passion and love within our Heart. For when we live our life's purpose, our Heart is full and Alive.

In the Present Moment we are Love...
When we live our personal purpose, our Heart experiences Love - in the present moments of living our personal purpose we experience the beautiful feeling of Love in the moment - where one needs nothing and has everything.

Imagine with me for a moment what your life would be like if you were living your personal purpose - right now. How would you feel?

Take a moment now and get in touch with the longing of your Heart... your personal purpose and grant yourself permission to do one thing today that supports your purpose.


Tag PURPOSE LIFE

Creating a valuable life

Have you ever noticed that people who claim to have the least amount of money are the ones who spend the thousands of dollars on a stereo system or even a great car?

Why is that?

They have created a value for themselves. They can justify spending that money, even if they "think" they cannot afford other things. I am of the personal belief that we will never spend more than what we believe of value.

What does that have to do with motivation?

We create value for ourselves, in our jobs, our personal lives and in our thoughts. Whether we have been taught to think or work in a certain way - we alone decide what is of value to us. And we act accordingly. If we do not value our work, we will act and work to reflect that attitude. If we do not enjoy our personal relationships, we will also show that attitude, through our actions.

If you have created a value in your life, have that "Will do" NOT the "Won't do" or "Can't Do" attitude - you can achieve what is of value to you.

It is all about taking control of your value system.

You will work smarter not harder if you believe in what you do (creates value). You will be happier in your personal life (because you have created a value for your goals) and thus your life is enriched and enhanced, because you feel you have VALUE to your life.

Make the necessary changes to create value in your career and life. Realize that your life is of value and it is of value to others - time to experience life!


Charlene Lopez-Ragsdale


Tag Creating a valuable life Charlene Lopez Ragsdale life

Can't vs. Won't vs. Will

C = Controlling
A = Attitude
N = Not
T = Thoughts

What does this mean? When we say we "CAN'T" we are controlling our ATTITUDE to believe that! What we say our subconcience WILL believe, whether it be positive or negative.

W = Wallow
O = Overcomes
N = Normal
T = Thoughts

When we say "WON'T" we make a conscience decision not to do something. We immeidately believe we "CAN'T" when we BELIEVE we "WON'T" succeed!

So, what happens when we say I "WILL"????????

W = Welcoming that
I = I am
L = Living and
L = Learning

When we say I "WILL" this immeidately puts positive thoughts in our mind. We might not have all the answers, but if we accept we WILL, then we accept we will TRY and LEARN and keep ing TRYING and keeping LIVING AND LEARNING.

Charlene Lopez-Ragsdale


Tag Can't Won't Will vs Charlene Lopez Ragsdale

Before you dance on the wire, create a net

Imagine that you decide to walk across a room on a high wire. You probably have no desire to do this, but suppose you believed there was a secure net under the wire. You can fall anytime, with no harm done. Now you can try out some truly daring moves.

Or think of driving down a narrow curve, with a steep drop-off on one side. With a guard rail in place, you can drive faster

When you embark on a midlife transition, your safety net can be cash a flexible career, such as medicine, accounting -- or house cleaning; a supportive family; a retirement income.

How much? That's up to you. One person's safety net will be another person's cobweb.

When?

Build before you take the first step. Your safety net can disappear after a fling on the high wire.

And you truly may not be able to go home again.

Marianne consulted me about starting a business. I asked how long she could survive on her savings. "A year," she replied. "Maybe a little longer."

"Some businesses take more than a year to get off the ground," I reminded her. "You may discover you hate the business or be wiped out by competitors."

"I thought about all that," said Marianne, "and I can always take a job at X Company. I've worked there before and they said they will make a place for me."

"Imagine, six months down the road, that you fear the business is growing too slowly. Or you have a personal emergency that requires cash.

"Now you're in a one-down, weak position. You crawl to X Company on your knees. Even if they really hold your job -- do you want it?"

"Better to take a job at the start of your business, or keep the job you have now. If your profits soar, you are in a very strong position to bid farewell to your day job. You can use the extra cash to grow your business, have some fun or save for the next crisis. But you will be free."

After your solo flight as a pilot, it's hard to return to being a passenger. It's hard to return to routine after you've tasted adventure. Design a safety net before you choreograph the high-wire act, and you will honor your commitment to move to your own personal vision of life freedom.

Cathy Goodwin


Tag dance wire create net Cathy Goodwin

HOW TO CREATE A 'YES' ATMOSPHERE

HOW TO CREATE A 'YES' ATMOSPHERE

Over the weekend I decided to check out some brand new furniture stores in our region. This is one way that I like to dreambuild. I go with the intention of painting a clearer picture of the type of furniture that I want in my new house.

I sit in my dream, I smell my dream, I visualize my dream and enjoy the game immensely with my family.

I believe in dreams. I dream dreams because dreams come true!

But the interesting thing that I learnt, as I was testing out various pieces of furniture for comfort and suitability, was the difference the salesman in the stores I visited made by the way they addressed me as a potential customer.

There were two types of salesman and saleswomen.

1. THE 'NO' SALESMAN
The first salesman was a 'No' salesman. They asked me, 'Can I help you?' and my immediate response to them, because they pronounced a question that opened them- selves to receiving that answer, was 'No.'

2. THE 'YES' SALESMAN
However, the second salesman was a 'Yes' salesman. They asked me, ' Are you just happy to browse?' My immediate response was, 'Yes.' As a result of this type of question I felt so much more at ease to continue to spend time in their showroom. It was unthreatening and as a direct result of that question I subconsciously felt more at ease and comfortable there than in the place that I was allowed to say 'No.'

Such a simple change of question made all the difference to my attitude towards the salesman and the store that they serviced.

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FASHION YOUR QUESTIONS TO GET A 'YES' RESPONSE
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There is a telecommunications company in my nation who used the word 'yes' as their whole promotional strategy. No wonder they stole a huge part of the market from the major existing providers. They in a sense prophesied what they expected from their customers. They prepared the platform for a successful business by creating a 'yes' atmosphere.

This is why it is so important that you shape the right questions that you even ask yourself.

Make certain that you are asking questions of yourself that require the 'yes' answer.

Or even better, rather than asking for a 'yes' or a 'no' answer, ask questions that require a direct action response from yourself.

Rather than, 'Will I set a goal?' Ask, 'When will I set a goal?'
Rather than, 'Will I win?' Ask, 'When will I win?'
Rather than, 'Will I succeed?' Ask, 'When will I succeed?'

Demand the 'yes' answer from yourself in definite dates and definite results.

Don't accept non-activity or non-productivity again in your life and definitely don't accept 'no' in any of your affairs.

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DEMAND 'YES' FROM YOUR LIFE
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Don't be the salesman who expects 'no' from his clients because he or she has failed to spend the time to learn to ask the right questions.

Remember that the questions are often just as important as the answers.

If you ask the right questions, and learn to do so on a regular basis, you are going to start getting the right answers.

Motivational Memo for the Week:

When life requests an answer, shout 'yes!'

Peter Sinclair


Tag YES Peter Sinclair ATMOSPHERE HOW TO CREATE

Toughest Decision of All

Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never give up! When a basketball team is down by 20 with 30 seconds on the clock, the players never stop working. The spectators might be filing out, and the winning team might bring in the bench players, but the game goes on.

If your game is a business or a job, the whistle won't blow to end the game. If you keep going and win, you may gain a lifelong prize. If you keep throwing good money and energy into a losing cause, the whistle can blow for unemployment or bankruptcy.

"Should I keep going?" is one of the most difficult questions for anyone, including career counselors and coaches. There is no single answer, but here are some ways to focus the question.

1. How did you get into the situation? Were you encouraged by a spouse, parent, friend or coach? You have a better chance of fulfilling your own dream than someone else's.

2. Is there a little voice in your head that whispers, "Maybe you should be doing X instead?"
Pay attention, especially if you can put a name on "X" ,and if you've been playing this game awhile. Most people yearn for what's familiar when they start a new venture, but if the feeling persists, don't ignore it.

3. Does your new venture refuse to go away? If you try to leave your job, do you find yourself getting caught up in a new project or rewarded with a new promotion?

One speaker, accepting a local "Entrepreneur of the Year" award, told the audience, "I hated this business. I tried to sell it but nobody would buy me out. I was forced to fix it up and, in the process, found success."

4. What is the universe telling you?
Are you getting customers?
Is your progress considerably faster or slower than your peers and competitors?
Has anything clicked into place for you, seemingly without effort?
Pay attention to actions and symbols. Ignore direct commentary, especially unsolicited advice. Consultants and coaches may be influenced by whether they get paid to keep you going.

5. What is your own historical trend?
Do you tend to give up too easily or hang on too long? If you have alife-long trend, get objective advice before you jump either way.


6. Are you still having fun?
A loss of enthusiasm can be temporary, especially if you're fatigued or just experienced a setback. Long-term discouragement will create negative energy and ultimately destroy your business.

7. Must your decision be either-or? Can you continue a business part-time with a manager? Can you look for a new job but also start a business? Multi-tasking can fragment energies but also offer unparalleled opportunities.


Tag toughest decision of all life business

MAKE YOUR CHOICE

If you live this day to the fullest, there are regrets that you will never have to know. Make the most of each moment, and there are pains you will never need to experience.

Think of how many of your most difficult burdens are largely of your own making. By virtue of the actions and choices you make on this very day, you can avoid so very many similar burdens in the future.

The things you do right now, and the choices you make today, can affect every day for the rest of your life. That can either be a golden opportunity or a wicked curse, depending entirely of what choices you make.

Just imagine all the great and wonderful things you can begin to create right now. Just think of all the things you could do that would soon have you looking back on this day with gratitude and satisfaction.

Five years from now, you can look back on today and be overwhelmed with joy, or overwhelmed with regret. Now is the time when you can decide which one it will be.

Cheers

Paul


Tag MAKE YOUR CHOICE Paul Choice

WHAT TO DO IF YOU REALLY, REALLY HATE YOUR JOB

1. Begin focusing on what you want instead of how much you want to escape. When you find yourself sharing the latest horror story, stop in mid-sentence and say, "What I want to have is..."

2. Create an image that describes you in your job. Are you on a riverbank with no way to get to the other side? Lost in a jungle? Poking through a thorny hedge? When you get comfortable with the image, begin visualizing a change in the obstacle. Imagine building a bridge across the river or finding a path in the forest. Don't force the image or the change. When you're ready it will come.

3. Think of developing skills, not serving time. Take every course that's offered and focus on skills that can lay a foundation for your own business or next job. Can you learn HTML or PowerPoint? Can you use some evenings, weekends and lunch hours to solicit some free lance gigs?

4. Focus on satisfactory, not superior performance. Use the time difference to build your new life. People often say, "I can't do anything -- I work ten hours a day!" If you are firing yourself or expecting to be fired, your job is finding a new job. Be ethical: you owe your company the minimum you need to earn your salary." But don't be surprised if you start to accomplish more than ever and find yourself getting promoted.

5. What conflict are you escaping? Dishonesty? Corporate greed? Hypocrisy? Allow yourself to wonder if these qualities are mirrored in your own life -- or even in your mind. If everyone around you seems dishonest, are you being dishonest with yourself? With others? After you resolve your own conflict, you may find the workplace has changed or you have been catapulted into a new, more satisfying life.

6. Put on your shield and armor when you enter your workplace. Everyone should learn how to create a psychic shield. Imagine that you are surrounded by an outer shell that is made of a solid material -- so strong that nothing can get through to hurt you. Some people prefer to imagine a protective golden light, but I think the solid shield is stronger. Take two or three minutes to put on your shield, every day, before you enter the workplace.

7. Give yourself a gift every day -- a splurge of time or sensual taste buds. Read a book, talk to a friend, eat your favorite food. Don't deaden your senses with alcohol (although if you're a wine connoisseur, your special wine can be a gift) or spend big bucks at the mall. Think simple.


8. Find at least one thing in your life to appreciate: the softness of your cat's fur, the winter sky, the spontaneous hug from a friend. Appreciate as much as possible about your job: the money, the view from the window, the new computer, friendly conversations with the guy down the hall. Savor the experience. Appreciation is the engine that attracts good things into your life.

9. Tune in to your intuition before deciding what to do next. Meditate and listen to the world around you. The saying "frying pan into the fire" is real. If your goals and desires do not come from a secure place within yourself, you will find yourself paying undue attention to wet blankets ("If you quit you'll never get another job") and false friends ("Just quit! Move to Tahiti! You won't starve!"). Sometimes the same "advisor" proposes both ideas in the same week. A good coach or counselor will give you confidence in your own intuition, not impose their views of what you should do now.

10. Write this down somewhere: After you've left -- and you will -- all that time will seem to have gone in the blink of an eye. You will have trouble remembering what bothered you so much. The rest of your life will still be ahead of you.

Cathy Goodwin, Ph.D. author, speaker, career consultant


Tag Hate Job Cathy Goodwin

IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTH

How To Become A Powerhouse Of Possibility

If we're ever going to achieve anything of significance in this lifetime we must have a purpose GREATER than ourselves. It is this PURPOSE that will thrust us out of the world of mediocrity and into the world of the winner and the achiever.

So how do we find our purpose? Good question.

There are probably a million answers to that question but let me share from my own experience. Maybe a bit of that will help you to discover your own personal strategy. ALL OF US ARE DIFFERENT BUT WE CAN AT LEAST LEARN CERTAIN PRINCIPLES FROM ANOTHER'S LIFE.

The first thing that I did was this: I decided that I was going to be proud of who I was and of what I could do. I also decided that I was a person who had great value. I didn't get concerned as to what others said or thought about me. I began to develop my own BELIEF in my own abilities. THIS WAS IMPORTANT.

Once that was firmly fixed in my mind, I began to identify my STRENGTHS. NOW WHAT ARE STRENGTHS? They're the things that come to you naturally. The things that you do with a natural flair. You actually enjoy doing them.

SO, THIS IS WHAT I DID....... I TOOK A PIECE OF BLANK PAPER AND DREW A LINE DOWN THE MIDDLE. On the left hand side I wrote my strengths (the things I'm naturally good at) and on the right hand side I wrote my weaknesses (the things I don't find easy to do). Once I had done that, I started to major on my strengths in everything I did, and as I could, I started to delegate my weaknesses to others who were more gifted in those areas. Let's face it! We can't do everything.

It took me nearly ten years to finally realize this and even today as I face new situations and challenges I constantly ask myself the question, 'What are my strengths?' I find that I am the most happiest when I am doing what I love doing (thinking and writing). For me, these things are easy to do and I get great joy out of it.

Because I've learn to ask this question constantly I now, AFTER MANY YEARS OF LEARNING, make my living out of my strengths.

At the same time I delegate my weaknesses. The result is this. I do what I love to do every day of my life. WORK TO ME HAS BECOME FUN BECAUSE I'M USING MY STRENGTHS.

So in a nutshell, here is one way that can help you to clearly DISCOVER your PURPOSE.

=============================================

#1. IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTH
#2. IDENTIFY YOUR WEAKNESS
#3. MAJOR ON YOUR STRENGTH
#4. DELEGATE YOUR WEAKNESS

=============================================

Follow up this simple written exercise by CONSISTENT ACTION. Watch how you will start to live with GREATER ENERGY and GREATER PURPOSE than you have ever done before.

Peter Sinclair


Tag IDENTIFY YOUR STRENGTH Peter Sinclair STRENGTH Power

Friend

FRIEND is the one who we can rely on. Pushing us to be better. Can make us more wise, with vision and will show mistake and solution.


Tag FRIEND rely on better wise vision mistake solution

WHY GOOD THINGS 'DON'T' COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

WHY GOOD THINGS 'DON'T' COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT

Now before you send me an e-mail to correct the above statement, I want to assure you that I was fully alert and awake when I wrote it.

The fact is: I disagree with the statement that 'good things come to those who wait.' Let me explain why:

Here are seven reasons why I believe that 'good things DON'T come to those who wait.'

1. Good things are WAITING to come to you.
I really believe it. I'm firmly convinced that good things are waiting to jump out and grab you. Good things are happening everyday to people all around the world. The question you should be asking is, WHY NOT ME?

2. Good things come to those who HUSTLE WHILE THEY WAIT.
Yes, even when nothings happening, you can still be doing something. Ever seen a duck gliding on a glassy sheet of water? Have you taken time to check out her webbed feet underneath? Cool, calm and collected on top, but underneath her little legs are moving like a raging torrent. That's what I mean by hustling. If nothings happening, keep busy doing something.

3. Good things come to those who GO get them.
I know that in this day and age of instant gratification that we may find this hard to believe, but there comes a point when you are going to have to GO and MAKE IT HAPPEN. Aggressively pursue good things for you and your family.

4. Good things come to those who EXPECT good things.
It all comes down to expectation. On the other hand, if you expect bad, guess what? Bad will hit you right in the face. However, if you expect good to arise out of bad circumstances, then you'll find your rainbow for every storm. Expect good and be prepared to be showered in goodness.

5. Good things come to those who DEVELOP themselves.
When preparation meets with opportunity there is always success. Remain in a constant state of preparation, because you can never tell when your opportunity will arrive. A state of preparedness is demonstrated by a life that never stops learning.

6. Good things come to those who GIVE MORE than expected.
The more you give the more you'll receive. Those who over-give, over-supply and over-extend, beyond the call of duty, will always be over-joyed.

7. Good things come to those who LAST THE DISTANCE.
You must always be a long distance runner when dealing with life issues. A quick fix is not always the best answer. Long-term planning and long-term perseverance is required. Always set your sights on long term and lasting achievement. Put in the required effort now and be rewarded in the future.


Tag WHY GOOD THINGS 'DON'T' COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT Good things WAITING

Get A Dream and Be Passionate

What Motivates Me to Succeed in Life?

I've had this innate knowledge, since a young age, that I have abilities and gifts that should be used. Sometimes I'll get down, sometimes I'm knocked down, but I always get back up again. When I was young it was mainly the desire to compete and succeed that drove me, but as a mother of 5 daughters, the eldest just 20, to be able to demonstrate by actions and love,to encourage them to dream and succeed is what motivates me now.

The eldest has just finished Uni, has secured a part- time job and is about to embark on the development of her own business, as a Fashion Designer. Oh, if I just had the courage to dream and dare at her age! I was in my mid thirties before I dared to start my own business, although I'd been dreaming along, long time.

Number 2 and 3 are in Uni and VCE and have yet to determine what they want to do with their lives, but are very gifted in different areas. Number 3 does entertain thoughts of being a jet pilot and I know she has the ability if she has the passion. Number 4 just entering Year 11 dreams of being a Horse Manager and Trainer, is already achieving in horse activities and competitions and is a real dreamer - her very dreams motivate her to do well at school. Number 5 is similar again, with her passion being music. I believe what contributes to their daring and dreaming is that I work full- time at home, and they see my demonstration of daring to try, of developing a work ethic, of being committed and to keep going.

If I were asked what was the one thing that would help you succeed in your career or business life, I would say 'get a dream and be passionate!' Because it is that very thing - the passionate dream that makes you strive, makes you want to keep on, even when your mind tells you to give up. If you have nothing in life to be passionate about, then start searching. Because you deserve to enjoy life, to love life, to be passionate and to succeed. And I can think of nothing better than working in an area where you are happy and look forward every day to doing that thing.


Tag Get A Dream and Be Passionate Motivates dream Passionate life

Where There is Life, There is Hope

Where there is life, there is hope.
Where there are hopes, there are dreams.
Where there are vivid dreams repeated, they become goals.
Goals become the action plans and game plans that winners dwell on in intricate detail, knowing that achievement is almost automatic when the goal becomes an inner commitment.
The response to the challenges of life -- purpose -- is the healing balm that enables each of us to face up to adversity and strife.

Denis Waitley


Tag Where There is Life, There is Hope Denis Waitley life hope

Never Leave Behind Regrets

Too often we don't realize
what we have until it is gone;
Too often we wait too late to say
"I'm sorry - I was wrong."

Sometimes it seems we hurt the ones
we hold dearest to our hearts;
And we allow foolish things to tear
our lives apart.

Far too many times we let
unimportant things into our minds;
And then it's usually too late
to see what made us blind.

So be sure that you let people know
how much they mean to you;
Take that time to say the words
before your time is through.

Be sure that you appreciate
everything you've got'
And be thankful for the Little Things
in Life that mean a lot.

Never leave behind regrets


Tag Never leave behind regrets life

Don't Look Back

Don't Look Back

You're Not Going That Way

As you travel through life
there are always those times
when decisions just
have to be made
when the choices are hard,
and solutions seem scarce
and the rain seems
to soak your parade!

There are some situations
where all you can do
is to simply let go and move on
gather courage together
and choose a direction
that carries you toward
a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles
and take a step forward
the process of change
can be tough
but think about all the
excitement ahead
if you can be stalwart enough!

There could be adventures
you never imagined
just waiting around the next bend
and wishes and dreams
just about to come true
in ways you can't
yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships
that spring from new interests
as you challenge your status quo
and learn there are so many
options in life,
and so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you'll go places
you never expected
and see things that
you've never seen
or travel to fabulous,
faraway worlds
and wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth
and affection and caring-
a "somebody special"
who's there
to help you stay centered
and listen with interest
to stories and
feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort
in knowing your friends are
supportive of all that you do
and believe that whatever
decisions you make,
they'll be the right
choices for you!

So keep putting one foot
in front of the other
and taking your life
day by day.

There's a brighter tomorrow
that's just down the road.

Don't look back-
you're not going that way!




Tag Don't Look Back life

Today

Bewailing past only playing around with. Worrying future merely throw away energy. Only today that deserve to enjoy with enthusiastically, optimism and full of thanks.


Tag Today Worrying future past enthusiastically optimism thanks

A Creed To Live By

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as they would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
It is this fragile thread that binds us each together.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time.
The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going.

Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily.

Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift:
that's why we call it The Present.

Nancye Sims


Tag A Creed To Live By Creed life Nancye Sims

WISDOM

WISDOM is not earning from drinking a pill or transplantation. But it's from accumulation of learning process and practice in face of life problem.


Tag WISDOM earning accumulation learning process practice life problem

MINING YOUR ACRES OF DIAMONDS

I recently heard a story that I would like to share – the story was about a farmer in Africa who heard many accounts of other farmers making their fortunes by discovering diamond mines. The tales got his heart racing and his mind reeling with the dreams he could fulfill if only he could find a diamond mine. Quickly he sold his farm and off he went to prospect for the riches that so many others had found in the glittering gems. He spent the rest of life wandering the African continent searching, unsuccessfully for those precious stones. Finally, broken down, worn out, and fed up, the farmer threw himself off a cliff into the ocean and drowned

Meanwhile, back on the farm – literally. The gentleman who purchased the farm was crossing a stream on his new property. From within the cool, rippling water a flashing glimmer of blue and red caught his eye. He stopped and picked up a stone – a good sized stone –and admired how it played with the light of day. Taking it home he placed it upon his mantel to enjoy

Sometime later, a friend was visiting and noticed the mantel decoration. He investigated it intently, hefted it in his hand then, after a dramatic pause, nearly fainted. He asked if the farmer if he realized what he had in his possession. The humble farmer said no, he merely thought it to be a piece of crystal or quartz. His friend told him he had found what he believed to be the largest diamond ever discovered. Taken slightly aback by this astounding news the farmer quickly caught his wits and told his friend that he had a creek full of stones like this one – none quite so large – but certainly many to be had at the bottom of the creek.

Needless to say, the first farmer had sold his farm so that he might find the very thing that his farm contained more of than anywhere else in Africa. Yes that farm turned out to be the most productive diamond mine on the entire continent. He had owned, free and clear, acres of diamonds, but sold them cheaply to find them somewhere else.

The moral of this story is all too clear to many of us. If the first farmer had educated and prepared himself on diamonds in their rough state, then searched his own property before searching the entire continent. He would have realized all his dreams.

What hits home so much for me in this story, is that I was the first farmer. Unfortunately, it was not all that long ago. I saw some associates of mine tapping into a lucrative industry and decided that I too would stake my claim in this money making venture. So, like the first farmer, I sold my farm and off I went to search out my ‘acres of diamonds’ elsewhere in world. Searching before preparing, searching before studying. Luckily, I did not become so despondent that I drowned myself. I did loose some pride, some self-esteem and some money in this search. I have since learned that each of us is, right now, standing in the middle of our own ‘acre of diamonds’

We need only the wisdom and patience to effectively explore the work in which we are now occupied. For me it began while I was giving a series of training classes as a favor to my fellow workers. Now, I have been a Toastmaster for many years and have enjoyed every moment on the stage. But had never really entertained the idea for doing it for a living. But while in front of these people teaching them techniques and strategies that would benefit them in their jobs I was energized and motivated. Then a couple weeks later I gave a 20-minute presentation on goal setting – that is when the moral of this story truly hit me. I began to search out my acre of diamonds in the skills that I already have and in the work that I already do. I learned that, before we go running off to what we believe to be greener pastures, let’s be sure that our own pasture is not as green, or greener, then the one we are running towards.

Remember no matter what your goal is, perhaps the path to it is available in the very thing you’re doing today, or a variation of it. You have only to look for it. It wasn’t till he was struck down with a paralyzing disease that a farmer pulled his family together and told them to plant all their farmland with corn. Then feed that corn to their pigs. Once these young pigs reached a certain age, they were to turn those little pigs into sausages. From this idea came one of the countries most successful meat packing plants. He could have done this at any time – but his paralyzing situation forced him to dig for his diamonds. He took the resources and the skills he had (his acre of diamonds) and mined them into a successful life for him and his family.

The greatest resource you have is your mind. Use it to explore the possibilities in what your presently doing as well as the possibilities in the skills you currently possess. A beggar once went to a man in search of no more than a few dollars for a meal. The man was Napoleon Hill, a motivator and educator that many of you may have heard of already. Mr. Hill sat with the beggar and made him realize that the world will give you what you ask for; ask for a mere dollar and that is all you will get, not a penny more. The man now wanted more, Mr. Hill then assessed the man’s skills. He had some experience selling products and had been a cook in the military. Combining these two meager skills, Mr. Hill devised a plan where the man would sell cookware in a unique fashion. Having a dinner party for prospective clients, cooking the dinner in his wares and then taking orders for those wares. The once beggar became a successful salesman by mines the diamonds from the skills which he already possessed.

Every kind of work has such opportunity hiding within it. They are there now, waiting to be found. But they cannot shout at us to get our attention. They cannot print signs and place them on our desks. No, we must use our minds to find them. We must be able to see them with our eyes – eyes of creation as stated by Earl Nightingale. I personally would modify that slightly to “Eyes of creation without limitation”

Take the time to stand back and look at your work and your skills as a stranger might. A stranger that asks, “Why is it done that way?” or “Do you see where what your doing can be enhanced, multiplied or capitalized upon?”

Hey, if you’re happy with things the way they are (and if your reading this I’m guessing your not) then by all means stay that way. But there is great pleasure to be had in finding the diamonds within yourself. While digging for those diamonds you’ll never become bored or find yourself in a rut. (Remember a rut is merely a grave with the ends kicked out). Ask yourself “How good am I at what I am presently doing?” or “Do I have a skill that I can use to make what I’m doing easier or more profitable?”

Each morning wake up with one question in mind – How can I increase my service today? (For if you give more, then you will receive more. That the law of reciprocation in its basic form.) Remind yourself that there are valuable and marketable ‘diamonds’ hiding all around you and that you need to be looking for them. Know every facet of your work – not just YOUR job – but every facet of your WORK or business. That could be the very thing that uncovers that first diamond for you. Then your momentum will pick up and you’ll uncover the next and the next. So take 15-45 minutes a day with a journal or pad of paper list the opportunities that are around you this very moment, in your current skills, at your work. Brainstorm and write down what ever comes to mind. One of today’s thoughts combined with one tomorrow or a week from now could uncover that first diamond. Make notes on how you can build your base of knowledge around your current profession, trade and industry. Make a plan and follow through on it (more on this in a later issue). Make notes on how you can improve your skills and performance. Basically really explore your work and your skills. Look at all the facets of them. There is opportunity in there – in there you’ll find your acre of diamonds.

by Tracy Brinkmann


Tag MINING YOUR ACRES OF DIAMONDS blog Tracy Brinkmann wisdom patience prepare educate opportunity

Face it bravely

The Moment involved in difficulty or trouble, barricade or failure. That means the successfulness that we want to reach is progressively nearer, face it bravely!


Tag face bravely difficulty trouble barricade failure successfulness reach near